The irony of being a music educator, of course, is that you’re somehow supposed to be artistic and expressive and colorful…while at the same time, adhering to the grayness of professionalism. And, lest anyone misunderstand me, there are many people who ride this line and succeed beautifully. I envy those people.
I am not one of them.
I tried to be, though. Heaven knows I tried. As a musician, my core belief is that practicing will make you better at anything, if you do it enough…and so I practiced. I watched other people. I imitated. I planned. I did everything right. And yet, it never seemed to pay off. I watched again and again as others succeeded and I, though my abilities and talents were always praised, never seemed to get anywhere.